It sucks how hard you try to be happy on the outside but deep inside, you're dying. Smile, laughter. It became like a make-up sort of thing that you wore before you leave the house door and then you remove it once you step into your room. I may be some typical attention seeking bitch or xiao lianzxczxc here blogging about how oh sad and pathetic i really am. But you can kindly scram off if you feel like it. It's my personal space and yup, freedom of speech, yeah? So haters, you can just stand behind this yellow line and wait for me to give a fuck about you.

If you don't know what the fuck i experienced, then keep your judgement to yourself. I am sure if you were in my shoes, you'd probably jump down from the esplanade or jump into the singapore river or probably just burn yourself to death.


I thought i met someone i can really trust and i gave that person my everything. But turns out to be that i'm wrong. Guess that i'm too naive at the age of 13. And i was really stupid back then. I met a few new friends when i'm 14. I especially trusted this friend of mine, but turns out to be that she badmouthed about me to someone and we wasted time calming the matter down. But that person turns out to be my best of best friends.But god just love to do this, he loves to give and take and give and then take away again. So eventually, i lost that friend when i'm 15. I thought she'd probably gives a fuck about it or she'd probably be damn affected over it. But i guessed i expected too much. She was sad, yes. But, how long was that for?

Secondary schooooool. 

))))))))))))) came, and left, without saying a word. 
@@@@ came, and left, and took away everything i have.
******** came, and changed my whole life. And then, left.
&&&&& came, and left, but she left memories.
^^^^^^^^ came, stayed for long time, and eventually, she left.
%%%%% came, i pushed him away.
$$$$$$$$ came, i pushed him away too.
@@@@ came back, i thought it will be right this time round, but, still deceived.
####### came, i hope they will stay forever.

J A N I S E U。